"Misunderstanding the Nature of God"
Updated: Aug 16
(In a prior Post, “Things We Have Observed from Counseling Others For 25 Years," we indicated that we would be sharing some things that we had observed that were common to many individuals or couples. This writing addresses one of those items. If you would like to read our initial Post mentioned above, you can go HERE.)
Understanding the Nature of God
Over the course of counseling hundreds of people, we have observed that many people do not “see God clearly” as they process the issues that have been or are currently present in their lives. When working with clients who have struggled with understanding God—usually dealing with “Why God” questions—we wouldn’t immediately attempt to correct them. We would validate their struggles and questions, as most Christians have, at one point or another, asked similar questions. However, it ultimately has been necessary to help them see the truth and true nature of God. But how did we do this?
The Ultimate Paradox
Directing our clients to Scripture and what it tells us about the nature of God the Father; Jesus and the Holy Spirit was fundamental. This helped clients not only “know” the truth but also address the emotions that often contradicted this truth. Emphasizing, for example, that Jesus (and thus the Father) was also feeling what the client was feeling in their struggle. Yet, here comes the ultimate paradox: if Jesus is compassionate and hurts when we hurt and grieves when we grieve, why would he allow such painful things to occur in the first place? There are certain things that can be shared at that point to try and make sense for the client, but usually none of these things bring the comfort that is being sought. Just “being physically and emotionally present” with the client was often the most helpful. Encouraging the client to communicate with God (i.e., verbally, writing, etc.), knowing that he or she will have to wrestle with God through the process can also be helpful.
Developmental Issues Can Affect Our Understanding of God
When we are young children, we often look to our parents as “gods” to us. In this process they can play a significant role in shaping our understanding in later years as to how we see and feel about God—especially as Father. I (Jerry) grew up in a home where there was quite a bit of anger. It caused me to experience anxiety and fear, which, though often staying hidden, resulted in those emotions and subsequent behaviors entering into my later years. When I was 33 years old, I gave my heart to Jesus and placed my faith and trust in Him and Him alone. What I eventually began to realize was that I had transferred that anxiety and fear onto God the Father. We often refer to these as “overlays” or placing our early experiences over top of God’s true nature. I knew what was true from Scripture about His nature, but it didn’t override some of the feelings that I had . . . especially when I messed up and needed to receive and internalize His love, forgiveness and compassion. Ultimately, I was believing lies about God and that needed to change.
Changing our Misunderstanding of God’s Nature
As we mentioned previously, the first step in experiencing a deep, heart-related need for healing is to recognize what might have happened to us—especially in our developmental years—and how that may have affected us. It took help from others, help from certain resources and a certain amount of time to move—experientially—from “misunderstanding to understanding.” As an example of this and how we worked with others in counseling, we included this in our book, The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself. We have included these at the following links: Our Picture of God; What God Feels About Us. To access this book, you can go to our website at jerryanddenisebasel.com/resources.
Blessings,
Jerry and Denise Basel
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